I got a message from a friend last week, her mother had become ill suddenly and passed away. I was stunned, the first I heard of it and it was over. I initially thought that I had missed everything, but then began to realize that the funeral had not happened. The morning of the funeral I realized that as I was typing a letter to her about how hard it was for me when my dad died, and how lonely you feel in the midst of the people, that I could tell her this in person.
The thing is, you couldn't just up and go, this place was a couple of hours away. But when I thought about completing the letter about how I understood what she was going though, I realized I could hug her instead. The drive was good, I had time to reflect on many things. It was one of those where you drive like crazy on the interstate, then you get to drive in the country. This state, in late spring, is beautiful. Yeah, what a sacrifice: I got to be away from town, alone.
One thing people don't know how to do is to just be. It's a helping word: be. Sometimes there are no words, you just are there. I had no great thoughts for my friend, I'm not "puffing" myself up. I remembered the pain when my parents died, and I came. If there was wisdom to impart, others did it. I just wanted to be there for her.
This woman died in the house she was born in, she decorated the cemetry before she died. She raised wonderful children and was keeping her grandson while her son was in Iraq. She had a faithful old dog that will be lost without her. Moments of wandering around, there is a river that flows behind her home, one that is popular with canoeist. It was a simple funeral, yet it spoke volumes. I never met her, but I would have been honoured to call her a friend. I wish I could effectively describe what I felt, but words limit me. There was a certain amount of mourning, because she will be missed, but it was a celebration of a life that was not wasted.
Maybe that's it...... a life that was not wasted. How much time do we waste, but what is wasted time? Is it a waste to sit and read, to enjoy just "being" with someone and not doing? Is it a waste if you don't solve the worlds problems, but you are faithful to the people around you? Is it a waste to live a simple life, one that surely Hollywood would make fun of, yet you have a simple faith that God is eternal and we are not?
I envy those that can do that. Can realize we are not to waste what God has given us. To enjoy the time together, to enrich our minds and souls, to give to others as we have been given. To be forgiven, to forgive, to love, to be loved.
I suspect this kind lady is in heaven, enjoying the presence of God and seeing the tears wept in her honour. She probably wonders why they cry for her, but she has surely shed tears as they do.
Rest now my friend, this is your legacy. And I thank you that you allowed me to come and see this part of your life. Don't hide what and who you are. I know you were surprised by my presence, but you would have surely come for me. You were taught by your mom friendship, and this is who you are. Friends love each other, they can just "be" there, and when you need to safely cry, now or in a year, I'll be there if you need me. Funny thing, you accepted me at a time when I was weak and loved me, and should you need me, I'll be there for you. Go sit at the river, think eternal, and know you are loved.
