Personality Profile

I recently did a personality profile. I'm thinking that they may have missed a few things. How do you line up the various quirks, so to speak, of a persons personality.

I'm very compassionate, yet if you piss me off, I won't bring you a warm blanket.

I love a code, yet find myself crying over the old people down the street that died in a car wreck.

I like people, but I don't.

Church people terrify me, I will never measure up to their standards. If they knew the real me, hah! they would never let me in the club. Trust me, my long term friends will even tell you that.

I believe in authority, and am willing to use a baseball bat to get you in line. Yet I question authority every chance I get.

I believe in team work, but don't want anyone else doing my work.

The list goes on and on. I don't understand myself. I will never be able to get past that whole "love your neighbor as yourself" thing, first of all, I barely know my neighbor and second, I would much rather read my book.

Sigh..... and there were no questions about duct tape and creative ways to use it. I see myself as Rat in Pearls before Swine. Oh well.

Attitudes and Latitudes

I recently did a project a work that would be a great time saver for everyone if, well, everyone would actually follow through. Real simple, we have these cabinets in our trauma rooms that we had to check each shift to make sure that everything was in them. I locked them with breakaway locks. Concept is that if you open the cabinet, you replace what was used, relock it. Pretty simple, AND we don't have to go through them each shift now to replace the stuff. We even set it up so that it was pretty clear who's responsibility it was to replace the stuff.

Alas, human nature being what it is, people love the idea, love not counting the stuff, just don't want to do the work to put the stuff back. I don't get it.

This morning, I was told "that happened at shift change, you wouldn't have done it either." Okay, first of all, don't put your work ethics on me. I would have done it. Why? Because I hate counting those cabinets and will do whatever it takes to keep them locked so I don't have to do it each shift. And second, and probably more important, is that if you want change, start with yourself. It's so much easier now. Really, and not just because it was my ideal. It was my ideal to avoid counting them daily. I'm fine with that motive. It saves time for everyone.

Michael Jackson for all his weirdness had a great song with The Man in the Mirror. I'm really trying to change who I am and what others see. Attitude, attitude, attitude.

The People on the Refrigerator

Today I almost met one of the families on my refrigerator. Okay, no one that knows me from work will believe that I am actually quiet shy outside of work. They were sitting two rows behind me in a Sunday School class and there was a lot of time that I could have done it. I mean, it's the new associate pastor of the church, how scary could he be? Well, considering that I've never really spent time with the main pastor, not seeing this happen. I think of all kinds of things I would like to say, but, nope.

When we first put their picture up on the refrigerator, our children were asking who they were. We tried to convince them that it was the new family we were adopting, but they didn't believe it. But it was fun.

Ever notice how many people have pictures of families, of children, cartoons on their refrigerators? There are only a few people on ours, I favor cartoons: Pearls before Swine, Zits, Baby Blues mostly. I love looking at photo's in other people's kitchens. You have an open door into who they are. So is it deceptive that I have people on mine that I'm too timid to meet? But that's another day.

Other Peoples Money

Today at Starbucks I saw a car tag "Tithes." I don't know these people, but that disturbed me. When we give to churches, organizations, or whatever, there is an effort to it. Sure we could use the money for things here, but we give. And when we give to the church, I don't expect an accounting of every dime from them, I want them to live well and enjoy the same things I do. I have close friends that receive their salary from donations, and none of them are frivolous with their money. So why did this bother me? I think because they are saying it. They are spending extra money to show that they are getting their money from other people. This is no different that the people in government that are wasteful of our money. So many don't even care. They would if it stopped and they actually had to get their hands dirty to earn it like so many do.

Grrrrrr This note could go lots longer, but I know so many people are beginning to tire of it.

Culture

Today I triaged a child from a middle Eastern country. The parents didn't speak English well but had a male friend with them that spoke some English. It was very interesting noticing some of the things that were done. I'm sure they were Muslin, wife had her head covered and the fact they were Arabic.

When I took the child's temperature, we do it rectally at that age and she was there for fever, the friend stepped out of the room to not see her bottom. I usually don't expose that much of the patient if I can help it so I thought that was interesting. This isn't a big deal, but it does make me wonder if because we are so casual about such things if we don't set ourselves up for the lack of privacy that we have in the US.

I'm not about to convert, I don't want to live under that much law. But I think sometimes we criticize things that are different without looking at the value they might have.

Of course, lets finish the story. I went to get the baby some Tylenol and as I was giving it to her, she showed me how angry she was at me. She barfed all over me.

One other thing. They were confused when I told them the temperature. I finally realized I needed to give it to them as I took it, in Celsius. The friend kept saying, "37?" I was like, 39, she's sick.

Discord

I hate discord. I hate doing stupid things. I did something stupid today and it lead to discord.

Seems like it's not difficult to do, stupid things. I make fun of strangers for those things. I try to be gracious, but sometimes we are overwhelmed with stupidity and it just comes out. Also, it's what makes things fun in the ER. Otherwise, how many accidents would we really see?

I feel bad, I've said I'm sorry. I will try not to do it again. I figure I'll do something stupid again, hopefully not something that irritates my son. I wonder sometimes if others try not to hurt us as much as we try not to hurt them.

Oh well. Really feeling dismal today. Sorry.

Maybe It's Over

Normally I like to write and be cheerful, but not today. A few weeks ago my son's girlfriend of several years broke up with him. There was no fight, they are still friends, and there is no other guy. I have no problem with her reasons, I understand. For awhile, I thought maybe this would make them realize how much they need each other and they might even become more serious. It was difficult to let go.

I dearly love this girl. But maybe it is over. This is very hard for me.

I saw her today, for a long time I couldn't imagine our life without her. I still can't. But I can see that maybe it's over.

That's it. I think I just needed to write it to make it real.

Still Here

Got out of the habit of writing and want to keep the blog active. Life is always interesting, but I'll write it another day.