Recently I read Exodus 16 about the Israelites and the manna. I will confess that I always think about Keith Green when I read the story: manna burgers, ba"manna" bread....it makes me laugh. This time, though, what struck me was the test of faith the people had. I imagine that in that large a group of people that there were varying levels of faith. We know God constantly was frustrated with them over the whining and complaining. I'm sure there were people that just obeyed, did exactly what God said, there were some that were constantly amazed at how it just was always right, and then some that were never going to be happy with things. Probably much like the modern church.
So I picture myself, walking out in the morning to gather the stuff. Unknown, what is it? How much do you gather? A day's worth is what Moses said. How much is that? What if you want a snack? So the first few days you are experimenting with it. Then routine sets in. I'm sure the Martha Stewarts of the camp had no lack of presentation and yummy manna, my poor family would have had the basics. And so it went. Day after day after day after day.
I've always said that I would prefer to work for someone rather than be self employed. That is due to the fact that I like to know what day my paycheck will come, that it will come, and that it will be good. I don't do well with "living by faith" in that area. I do recognize that God is my provider and not ACH or Baptist, but I know He placed me where He did. But now I'm in a situation where I need to walk in some faith. So I'm reaching out to my friends to help me with this.
Last year one of the doctors I admire asked me to go to Honduras with him on a mission trip. I wanted to, but the details couldn't be worked out in time. So I was thinking it would be this year maybe. A few months ago he told me he didn't have anyone to do the particular task he had wanted me for (sedations) so I thought that meant he didn't need me to go. I was kinda relieved actually. Whew, God doesn't want me to go. Ah, not so. He clarified that for me a week or so ago, still wants me to go, can use me, nurses are most helpful. So I'm actually getting excited again. Now for the hard part. Money.
The people that get these are people that I trust to pray or close friends. I'm being very open in saying that this is so hard for me. I need to write letters to people and ask them to support me on this trip, both in prayer and financially. I want to hear from the Lord in who to write and words to say. This is very difficult for me. In one way I want to just say, I can sign up for a lot of days at Baptist and make the money, or I can do this or that, and maybe I could but I don't think that is what I'm hearing the Lord say. I think He wants me to gather manna. And I have never really done this before. I've watched as God has provided for others, sent my kids on many a trip helping with finances, but never myself.
So I'm asking you, my friends, to pray for me. Pray that God will provide, that He will make me bold, that He will show me who to send letters to, and that I don't miss His guidance along the way. Then when I go that I will be able to glorify Him in all I do. Not many of you know that a large part of why I switched from adults to pediatrics was so that I could do mission work.
Thank you, first of all because I'm honored to have the friends I do, and second for praying for me. Some of you have known me for years and watched me struggle and grow, others are newer friends, who still watch me struggle and grow. I love each of you for who you are.