Thoughts on a Brother

My brother passed away last week. Years of bad decisions, a life of choices that led to an outcome he wasn't expecting. I could go on and on about that, but there is no need. Robert was a man who always kicked against the rules. He rebelled against his parents, the "man", his bosses, and God. Yet he loved his wife and family. Our relationship was complicated by the age difference. He was almost 7 years older than I was, so we never really played together. He moved out in the 12th grade and lived with my grandparents in another town, then went into the service. There he met and married his wife and began his life with her. It's funny, the last few days, looking back at pictures, remembering stories, all that stuff you do when someone dies. I get frustrated because I want to remember more than I do, yet the main thing is that he was always there. I have a brother, and now he is gone. He is with my parents. And I hope he is at peace with himself. The funeral was sweet. I was so worried that it was going to be impersonal, but the minister was able to bring personal touches in, he actually knew my brother some, and he made it one of the better services I've been to. So many details, some forgotten, most taken care of. I will say, I've done this several times now, funeral planning sucks. The experts at it are in it for the money, so you have to edit much of what they say. You don't want to spend money on something that has little value, but you don't want to be cheap. At the end, I looked at the family he left behind. They are not the perfect family - think of the Cleavers, but they loved him. They celebrated his life in their own way, they showed their character individually. The son was able to stand up and share his heart about his dad, I could not have been prouder of the man he has become. The legacy Robert leaves is a good one. His time on earth was short, but the trace he leaves is good.