Burdens

Some days at my work are rough. Bad things do happen to people, either on purpose or accidents. It was rough with adults, but there is something different when it happens to kids. I have a great group of friends, but these things can be overwhelming to share. And sometimes, even when you share, it doesn't feel right that you did.

We had a bad one yesterday. It's funny, because when you are in a certain role, the other staff even tell you they are sorry as they pass you in the halls. And no matter how many times you have seen things, particularly death, it is hard. Maybe that's what makes us who we are, I don't want to work with people that aren't moved when they deal with it. There is sometimes a clinical intrigue that happens, because you learn from every one of these, but still somewhere you know, this was a child, this was someone that people loved, and maybe the day before she was playing and, maybe she was a princess. But not today.

Today my scripture reading was about Jesus in the garden. And his disciples couldn't stay wake while he was praying for this cup to pass, to take away our sins. Today I'm burdened, and I'm needing some resolution, and so I'll pray for Him to help me with this cup. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be for work, and I know that this job has these moments. I may never understand what Jesus encountered in the garden and on the cross, but maybe, maybe, I have a glimpse.

Princesses

I have 3 sons. I didn't pay much attention to princesses when I was young except to say I liked the story about the Princess and the Pea. Then Sarah entered my life. She is my daughter in law and she has taught me all about princesses.

And now I work in a pediatric ER. I have come to love princesses. I love the little girls that come in and are wearing clothes with their favorites, or even better one Sunday at church a little one had her crown and magic wand. One of our doctors came to work and found, instead of her stethoscope, her daughter had packer her a wand for work. Tonight I was holding down a young girl while we placed an IV and drew her lab work. With tears in her eyes we discussed her favorite princesses to distract from what we had to do. I don't know how to describe these scenes. I hate to cause those moments of pain, but I love to send them to a world where they can be a princess for a few minutes and have magic to banish me.

Oh boys are great too, but there is nothing like the princess. My world has expanded with the knowledge of these things. Somedays I walk away amazed that they pay me for what I get out of my job.

Thank you Eloise and Sarah.

The Importance of Being

I love the be verbs. They are helpful, small, yet have so much meaning. The word "be" is defined as: to exist or live, to take place, happen, occur, to occupy a place or position, to continue to remain as before, to belong, attend, befall. The dictionary goes on, but this is sufficient.

Lately I've been thinking about how much I enjoy being around certain people. One of my co-workers and I were discussing what each of us had done the night before. Gary and I had been watching TV together and playing on our computers. Fairly quiet evening, not a lot of conversation, but just being together.

Lately I've realized that with many of my friends, when I see them I feel energized, more alive. We tend to relax when we are with people that we have those bonds with. I've been thinking about relationships that we've had over the years, some of our best friendships, and how I knew we were successful in them. I think it's the ones that sometimes there was more silence than not. That if they were tired and we were together they could just rest (some even fell asleep on the couch - in our defense, it was a great couch to sleep on). I was with a friend the other day that I don't see often, there wasn't a huge deep topic, it was in the seeing her, the hearing her voice, and just laughing together.

I was trying to define for someone what having a relationship with Jesus is. I think some people believe that you have to be in constant prayer, on your knees, talking constantly. I've come to realize, it's like being with my friends, it's an awareness, a constant presence, being in touch. Over the years my relationship with Him has changed. Just like many of my friendships, this has gotten more personal. Less me saying what my needs are and more about how to express who He is. And I honestly believe that I've come to a point that He is a friend as well as everything else He is.

It's that way with good friendships, it's not necessarily the conversation, it's the being together that is most enjoyable.