Sarcasm

I've noticed on most of the medical blogs I've been on that there is a fair amount of sarcasm in them. For those of you who are not medical you need to understand that this doesn't mean we don't care about those that are our patients. Alas, I suspect that we have to have this "dark humour" in order to survive. Why is that? Because you can't constantly see what we see without developing an overwhelming sense of irony.

For example - people come into the ER on a regular basis after having done some of the most stupid stuff and wonder why we laugh. I mean, if you drink a case of beer and decide that now is a good time to move the fish tank and you get cut in the process (and the fish died, I might add) I WILL laugh at you.

I will laugh at you if when I go to give you a shot and you whine, yet you are covered with tattoo's. Sorry, I can't help it.

I will look at you with that "are you really that stupid" glare when you complain that the service is slow when you are here for an earache and I have a patient having a heart attack next door and he "doesn't want to bother me" with his chest pain.

My first days back in the ER after working in the unit were amazing to me. I had been away from patients that didn't need to be admitted for a year and had forgotten how stupid some folks really were. Now we get a different level in the unit, and it might be that my ER background really shows - don't threaten me that you can go to another facility, I'll give you the papers. Don't waste my time, I won't beg you to stay. In fact, there are people wanting to get in the unit and can't come because your sorry butt is in the bed.

Then there is "don't let grandma die" - yes, she's got severe dementia, doesn't know who you are, hasn't walked in a year, on every machine I can drag in the room, she's had a great life, and she even told you she didn't want to be on machines, but YOU can't live without her. Do you hate her??? I mean, come on. Let the woman go....... There are some things worse than death.

The funny thing is, I won't harm grandma, please understand that, but I pray that God will release her from her body, and that I can convince you that a DNR is a wonderful thing. I don't like doing CPR and hearing bones break, I don't like shocking grandma. So please, when I laugh at something stupid, it's so that I can take care of grandma when you won't make the tough decisions.