I have recently discovered that I'm ADD. I figure we didn't know because when I was growing up we didn't test kids for it, they were just discipled into stillness or some version of stillness. I'm not that bad, the only time that it would have been really helpful was in nursing school.
Church now is the biggest problem. I have the attention span of a gnat and I don't learn as well listening anyway. Hence I need to do something to keep busy. Today I sat next to a kid, figure he's twelvish. He too struggles, he looked at my watch, played with my ring, had a small chain that he ran in and out of the communion cup holder (I hope his mom doesn't bust him for that one - but she was tied up with the snoring smaller child - ps, it was cute). So herein is the question - how do we survive church when we don't want to be a distraction. In my previous life I played on the worship team and had worked out some of the wiggle before I had to sit still. Now I am forced to sing (I pity those around me) and think of how I would play that particular song. Obviously I have a problem. I want input - but here is a starter list.
1. Take notes (too much like school for me)
2. Draw pictures - the problem here is that my best thing is nudes and I'm not sure that would be appropriate for church
3. Compare feet - sounds weird, but maybe I could draw them......
4. Play with roseary beads - again a problem, I'm a Baptist, do I have to say Hail Mary's with them????
5. Pick dirt out of watch
6. Play with ring - it has diamonds, they are very pretty in the lights. At our church the lights are similar to trauma lights. You ask, how do I know what the trauma lights make my ring look, shouldn't I be paying attention to the trauma. Have I mentioned the attention span of a GNAT???
7. Play with pen - however clicking noises are bad. If you take the pen apart you can play with the spring, but the downside is that if you lose the spring..... well, the old ladies might not appreciate it.....
8. Make comments about the sermon - downside, well, the pastors wife might read this blog and think I don't like the sermon. Pastor is actually good teacher, have I mentioned attention span of a gnat???
9. Play with hair, however gives appearance that I'm not interested. Bad example to kid.
10. Tourniquets - good bookmark, good toy. May be rolled up in interesting ways, make knots, pop kid next to me.
So, feel free to help out here. I love comments, I suspect that the whole two people that read this choke back their thoughts. Oh, go for it. I'm really not that sensitive.
2 comments:
Silly Putty. It's gotten me through many a tedious event (not that church is always tedious). I especially like the kind that changes color when it gets warm/cool. Just be careful of squeezing it too quickly if it has air bubbles. It can let out pops and even farting noises...not desirable in church, except maybe to entertain the kid next to you.
-melody
I used to pull out the elastic from my socks and take play dough from the kids' sunday school rooms and put a little ball of dough on the end and let it bounce back and forth between my feet. This works for hours. However, if you're not wearing socks this is problematic. The tournequet may work here. This is yet untested.
Sometimes we play the "fill in the outline" game by filling in the sermon outline in the bulletin with the most absurd and sacreligious things possible to make the spouse snort and chortle.
Alternatley, I've even brought other sermons to read. Or perhaps a Greek text. Nothing can make a sermon seem more intersting by comparison than a Greek text.
-Chap. the K.
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